As I listened, I read passages of the Psalms, chapters seven through eleven, and felt much in the the Spirit, as ever I do in The Church. One of the reasons I sit in the balcony is that my eyes pour forth tears in churches. I fear it could be distracting to others. I must have a number of tissues or handkerchiefs. It is not like weeping or sobbing. It is like a warm fountain. Tears just fall off of my face, into my lap or hands. There seems to be nothing I can really do about this. So I just sit up in the balcony, and hope that no one is disturbed.
When I am in The Church, I feel so good. I love being in The Church. I feel great stirrings. I feel close to a radiance that my heart can see well. It is an intimate feeling, yet vastly broad and expansive. Often thoughts come to me and carry me away, as well as pictures in my mind, which I then carry away with me.
Yesterday during one of the solos, whenever I closed my eyes, I saw a vibrant glowing white ring of concentric circles. It was quite beautiful and clear.
Later, I took myself out to lunch, in order to escape the disturbance and distraction of spirit that wrestled in our home. There is a vexation present in the dynamics of we three, to which we must turn to God to amend. Love is crowded out by expectation and anxiety. It overcomes me, at times. I took along a book by Fritjhof Schuon, and read the chapter that the book opened to me after I sat down. It opened to a page describing concentric circles in terms if the Absolute and the Relative. O, such a beautiful and coherent explanation!
Schuon provides this interpretation of the Mystery of the Veil.
"The cosmic and Metacosmic veil is a mystery because it has its roots in teh depths of the Divine Nature. According to the vedantists, it is impossible to explain Maya, even though one cannot help admitting its presence; Maya, like Atma, is without origin and without end.
The Hindu notion of Illusion coincides in fact with the Islamic symbolism of the veil, hijab: the universal illusion is a power which on the one hand hides and on the other reveals; it is the veil before the face of Allah, or, according to a multiplying extension of the symbolism, the series of sixty-six thousand veils of light and darkness which either through clemency or rigour, screen the fulgarating radiance of the Divinity.
The veil is a mystery because Relativity is. The Absolute, or Unconditioned, is mysterious by sheer evidentness; but the Relative, or the Conditioned is so by dint of unintelligibility. IF it si impossible to understand the Absolute, it is because luminosity is blinding; on the contrary, if it is impossible to understand the Relative, it is because its obscurity offers no reference to mark....
To be the vehicle of the Absolute, while veiling it, isa the purpose of the Relative.
One must therefore seek to penetrate the mystery of Relativity from the starting point of the Absolute, or in terms of it, and this compels us-or allows us- to find the Root of Relativity in the Absolute itself; and this root is none other than Infinity, which is inseparable from the Real, which being Absolute, is necessarily infinite. This Infinity implies Radiation, for the good tends to communicate itself, as St. Augustine observed; the Infinity of the Real is none other than its power of Love.
The mystery of Radiation explains everything: by radiating, the Real, as it were, projects Itself "outside Itself" and in separating Itself from Itself, It becomes relativity to the very extent of this separation.
It is true that this Outside is necessarily situated in the Real itself, but it nonetheless exists qua outwardness and in a symbolic fashion, which is to say that it is "thought" by the Infinite by virtue of its tendency to Radiation and hence into an expansion in a void that in reality does not exist. The void has no reality except through the Rays which are projected into it; Relativity is only Real through its contents which , for their part, pertain essentially to the Absolute. Thus it is that space has no existence except through that which it contains.
An empty space would no longer be a space, it would be nothingness."
Ah, shades of Kierkegaard and the Sickness Unto Death. To suffer is to be removed from God.
The distinctions of the Veil both transmit and dissimulate the treasures of The Sovereign Good.
